ROUND TWO: 12-amicable vs. 4-scrappy


Click here for authlete instructions.

Voter Instructions:

  • The countdown at the bottom of each pairing indicates how much time is left to vote.
    • When voting closes, timer will disappear.
  • Read both poems as many times as you like.
  • Mark the poem you like best by clicking the circle next to its name.
  • Press the “Vote” button to record your vote.
  • Votes are counted in real time and cannot be changed once entered.
  • You can only vote once from a given IP address.
    • Classrooms should submit one vote as a class.
    • Students can then vote again individually from home.

Things to Consider in Making a Choice:

  • How well the poem incorporates the authlete’s assigned word.
  • Technical elements: meter, rhyme, form, shape, and other poetic standards.
  • Creativity: wordplay, imagery, unusual approach, etc.
  • Subtle elements that make the whole greater than the sum of its parts.
  • Your overall response: emotional reaction such as admiration, tears, laughter, terror, or some indefinable feeling.

Here are the poems:

12-amicable
Swimming Toward the Light
By Penny Klostermann

On a lonely, lightless bottom, fathoms down below,
a solitary, stalk-eyed shrimp is swimming to and fro!

“Look! A luminescent, phosphorescent, incandescent glow!”

On that lonely, lightless bottom, fathoms down below,
a serrated-saw-toothed anglerfish’s lure waves to and fro—

Thus…the luminescent, phosphorescent, incandescent glow!

Snap!
…and what to shrimp seemed amicable, never would be so.

vs.

4-scrappy
The Battle
By Callie C. Miller

Adelyn fought and she schemed and she sought
To avoid the injustice impending.
She squirmed and she squiggled. She cried and then wriggled!
But lost to the bitter black ending.

A scrappy young brawler, a give-it-your-all-er
She knew how to win during war time.
But she was defeated, like each time she greeted
Her favorite blankie at naptime.

 




12-amicable vs. 4-scrappy: Which Poem Did You Prefer?

  • 12-amicable (Penny Klostermann) (40%, 185 Votes)
  • 4-scrappy (Callie C. Miller) (60%, 282 Votes)

Total Voters: 465

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  • http://www.quinettecook.com Quinette Cook

    Form?! Penny, I can’t identify the form. It feels like a funky pantoum. I tried to make a triolet work with my word TOPICAL, but I couldn’t get it to work in the time we had. Big surprise ending, Callie – didn’t see it coming. Good luck to both of you.

  • http://www.NoWaterRiver.com Renee LaTulippe (@ReneeMLaTulippe)

    Quinette, I tried a triolet for SUBTERFUGE but would have needed another few days to make it work!

    Two twist endings, one to safety, one to death. Ah, poetry. Good work and good luck, ladies!

  • http://www.pennyklostermann.com Penny Klostermann

    Eeekkk…do we have to use form as well as an usual word??? Sorry, Quinette,I can’t claim a form. I just do this stuff…maybe not a good thing to admit in March Madness Poetry Tournament, but just being honest :-)

  • http://www.robynhoodblack.com Robyn Hood Black

    So different – and both so lively! Well done, Ladies. Love “serrated-saw-toothed” and “bitter black ending.”

  • http://www.pennyklostermann.com Penny Klostermann

    I meant “unusual” word, of course! :•)

  • Carrie Finison

    Penny’s poem has a ‘luminescent, phosphorescent, incandescent glow’ about it, and Callie’s shines, too. I love her “give-it-your-all-er phrase.

  • http://www.buffysilverman.com Buffy Silverman

    Great language in both of these–love that “luminescent, phosphorescent, incandescent glow” AND “a give-it-your-all-er.” So much fun to say.

  • http://www.buffysilverman.com Buffy Silverman

    Ooops. I see I said exactly what Carrie said–guess we both must be right.

  • http://www.authoramok.com Laura Shovan

    Penny, those anglerfish freak me out. Scary. Callie, I loved “give-it-your-all-er” — yay for invented words!

  • Savage Henry

    I voted for Callie
    to add to her tally
    I hope that she wins
    and then she grins.

  • http://www.laurasalas.com laurasalas

    No, don’t swim toward the light, little shrimp! (Have you read Hotel Deep by Kurt Cyrus?) Fun poems, both, but Penny’s evocative word choices got me.

  • http://www.pennyklostermann.com Penny Klostermann

    Thanks, Laura! I have not read Hotel Deep. I just Googled it and, oh my,it looks wonderful…the art and the poems!

  • http://catherinemjohnson.wordpress.com Catherine Johnson

    Penny, that is awesome! Poor shrimpy. Great twist at the end, Callie.

  • Patricia Nozell

    Penny, very much enjoyed the journey to the ocean’s depths from the perspective of the little shrimp. Callie, a wonderfully twisted ending. A tough choice all-around.

  • Janet F.

    I think these two have the roll-off-your-tongue feel when you read them aloud. Such a hard choice!! Try saying ” luminescent, phosphorescent, incandescent glow ” three times fast! And that scrappy young brawler!!! So true, those tiny things have such powerful lungs!!! I enjoyed both poems.

  • Callie Miller

    Thanks for the nice words, all! Glad to hear the twist ending has gone over well! I always like the surprise (and hopefully laughs) that twist endings can bring :)

  • http://www.pennyklostermann.com Penny Klostermann

    Callie, I think congratulations are in order! Great job! I gave-it-my-aller (to borrow your clever words), but you are kicking some poetry butt! It was fun :•)

  • http://sevenacresky.wordpress.com Damon Dean

    Fun imagery Penny! Poor little shrimp. Gulp!
    Callie, it is a war waged often! The promise of comforts often bring about armistice.