ROUND ONE: 4-whatever vs. 13-auxiliary

r1f1 4-whatever vs 13-auxiliary

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Things to Consider in Making a Choice:

  • How well the poem incorporates the authlete’s assigned word.
  • Technical elements: meter, rhyme, form, shape, and other poetic standards.
  • Creativity: wordplay, imagery, unusual approach, etc.
  • Subtle elements that make the whole greater than the sum of its parts.
  • Your overall response: emotional reaction such as admiration, tears, laughter, terror, or some indefinable feeling.

Here are the poems:

4-whatever
One More Time, Kid
by David L. Harrison

Okay, first you roll your eyes.
Raise those eyebrows toward the ceiling.
Perfect. Lift your shoulders – slowly.
Your sigh could use a bit more feeling.
Show your palms like, “What? What?”
Shake your head as though you’ve never
Been so pained and bored before.
You are ready! Groan, “Whatever.”

vs.

13-auxiliary
The Trouble with Hooved Animals
by Bonnie Bailey

When they wrote NO PETS ALLOWED –
They should have said no ungulates.
An auxiliary footnote could clarify –
“NO CAMELS ON ROLLER SKATES!”

The herd just arrived from soccer practice –
Sweatily anticipating sweets.
But the baker at the cake shop yelled –
“NO GOATS IN CLEATS!”

 


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4-whatever vs. 13-auxiliary

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4-whatever vs. 13-auxiliary
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4-whatever vs. 13-auxiliary




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  • http://teacherdance.blogspot.com Linda Baie

    Both poems give so much to ponder, an actor’s challenge and a that of a baker’s too! The poems are clever!

  • Dave Crawley

    Auxiliary’s a tough enough word…then you had to add “ungulates!” Very clever. And I love David’s instructions on how to prep for that ultimate word of apathy…

    • Bonnie Bailey

      Thanks Dave! Not quite “sesquipedalian” clever though :)

      • Dave Crawley

        Both of those words have a sesquipedalian style about them…

  • Debbie B. LaCroix

    Good luck to the both of you! I have to admit, the image of Goats on Roller Skates is awesome!
    David: It was nice to see a break of the traditional pattern.

  • deborahhwilliams

    Congrats to Bonnie for using the word “ungulates!”

    • Bonnie Bailey

      Thanks! I CAN’T WAIT to see what you are doing with “junto”! Wowzas!

      • deborahhwilliams

        HA! It was a headscratcher, but it helped to learn that Ben Franklin started a discussion club in 1727 called The Junto.

  • http://www.mainelywrite.blogspot.com Donna Smith

    You know, I have always hated trying to say “auxiliary”…but “whatever” comes pretty naturally!

    • Bonnie Bailey

      Just read your post about writing “Perpetual Motion”. Ha! I hope he finds some time for naps!

  • Quinette Cook

    “Whatever” appeals to the teen in me. The illustrator in me says hooved animals!

  • Renee LaTulippe

    Ha! David, love your instructions to a teen and your angle on that word – clever as always! Your teen has some tough company with Bonnie’s athletic animals. A great matchup!

  • Damon Dean

    Bonnie, I always sweatily anticipate sweets…some people call it drooling! Ha! Love those ungulates. And David, you make the perfect apathy coach. Loved both these poems.

    • Bonnie Bailey

      I rather enjoyed your poem Damon :)

  • http://motherstreusel.com/ Mother Streusel

    These are great and both so clever and creative!! And I learned what an ungulate is! Good luck to both of you!

  • Marileta Robinson

    David, your poem made me grin, and it gently helps kids laugh at themselves.

    • David Harrison

      Thank you, Marileta. It’s one of those universal gestures that kids pick up early.

  • David Harrison

    Thanks for the comments everyone. Bonnie, I love your poem.

    • Bonnie Bailey

      Thanks! Yours is wonderful!

  • Jeanne Poland

    David:
    Portrait of ennui…cool!
    Bonnie:
    the rhymes are scintillating
    Jeanne Poland!

  • Buffy Silverman

    I read your poem aloud, David, and my daughter (who is slightly past the eye-rolling age) immediately started to act it out. Great fun! And Bonnie, I could imagine your hoofed friends marching into that bakery!

  • Catherine

    Both super poems!

  • David Harrison

    That mean old Bonnie Bailey
    Is whippin’ up on me.
    She looks all sweet and mom-ish
    But she’s not fooling me,
    She’s nothing but a bully
    Who beats up kids like me.
    If you see Bonnie Bailey,
    You’d better let her be!

    • rjschechter

      Whatever.

    • Samuel Kent

      You both write stellar poems
      with diverse, distinguished skills.
      With love and open kindness
      is how Bonnie Bailey kills.
      I know our bonny Bonnie,
      and she’s nothing like you say.
      So don’t harass her, Harrison;
      she clearly came to play.

      • David Harrison

        And I quite agree, Samuel. Thanks for coming to Bonnie’s rescue!

        • Renee LaTulippe

          The trash talkin’ begins! Now it gets fun! (Seriously – love those two poems, David and Samuel!)

          • David Harrison

            I thought Samuel was quite gallant. And I am in awe of my sweet opponent.

  • Rebekah Hoeft

    David, it’s so spot on that I’m banning my 4th grader from reading your poem (though I think her teacher read it with her. Bummer!) since she’s already on her way to perfecting this!. It so perfectly describes the eye-roll! Bonnie–so great! I can totally see a herd of goats, in their soccer uniforms, jostling each other in front of the glass case of the bakery, making a mess and causing problems!

  • David Harrison

    Hi, Bonnie,
    Some race, huh? I haven’t gotten a thing done all day.

    • Renee LaTulippe

      Yup, that’s what March Madness is — a MADNESS. Impossible to do anything else!

      • David Harrison

        Swell. NOW you tell me, Renee!

  • Kathy Ellen Davis

    Great poems! Getting ready for whatever was a great idea! And Goats in cleats is cracking me up!

  • David Harrison

    Way to go, Bonnie! It was a good race and a very nice day. I look forward to becoming better acquainted. Congratulations!

  • http://motherstreusel.com/ Mother Streusel

    SOOOO close!!! This competition is nerve-wracking! Congratulations Bonnie!