ROUND ONE: 5-parse vs. 12-troubleshoot


Click here for authlete instructions.

Voter Instructions:

  • The countdown at the bottom of each pairing indicates how much time is left to vote.
    • When voting closes, timer will disappear.
  • Read both poems as many times as you like.
  • Mark the poem you like best by clicking the circle next to its name.
  • Press the “Vote” button to record your vote.
  • Votes are counted in real time and cannot be changed once entered.
  • You can only vote once from a given IP address.
    • Classrooms should submit one vote as a class.
    • Students can then vote again individually from home.

Things to Consider in Making a Choice:

  • How well the poem incorporates the authlete’s assigned word.
  • Technical elements: meter, rhyme, form, shape, and other poetic standards.
  • Creativity: wordplay, imagery, unusual approach, etc.
  • Subtle elements that make the whole greater than the sum of its parts.
  • Your overall response: emotional reaction such as admiration, tears, laughter, terror, or some indefinable feeling.

Here are the poems:

5-parse
Notes on an Eighth-Grade Breakup
By Carrie Finison

In the third-floor bathroom there’s the writing on the wall—
‘R.A.B. & D.McC.’ in fuchsia lipstick scrawl.
Mandy caught them holding hands on Tuesday in P.E.
At lunch, I saw a text that clearly wasn’t meant for me—
‘C U L8R. Don’t tell T.’ I asked, but he denied it.
But her — it’s written on her face. She barely tries to hide it.
I can parse these messages: she never was my friend,
And him — my so-called boyfriend? For him, this spells THE END.

vs.

12-troubleshoot
Roadkill Spiel
By Penny Klostermann

If armadillo were astute
he’d troubleshoot his night commute.
He’d quick-glance left. He’d quick-glance right.
He’d scan for high beams in the night.

Perhaps it’s written in his stars
to meet his end per passing cars.
Unless, of course, he’d acquiesce
and use his brand new GPS.

 




5-parse vs. 12-troubleshoot

  • 5-parse (Carrie Finison) (46%, 119 Votes)
  • 12-troubleshoot (Penny Klostermann) (54%, 138 Votes)

Total Voters: 257

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“This is awesome, where can I find more?”:
Browse other matchups using the slider below and click to go straight to that matchup!

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  • Carrie Finison

    Good luck, Penny! I hope you are getting more rest than I am. :-)

  • http://www.NoWaterRiver.com Renee LaTulippe (@ReneeMLaTulippe)

    Good luck to two of my fabulous critique group partners! Bummer you’re up against each other, but I know you’ll both write memorable poems, and that’s what it’s all about. Who needs sleep – we’ve got poems to write! :)

  • Bill

    Okay, now! The gloves are off.

  • http://www.lightbulbbooks.com/blog Hannah Holt

    Oh! This is a match-up of two talented authletes!

  • Carrie Finison

    I just hit ‘send’ on my submission. See you in the ring, Penny!

  • http://www.quinettecook.com Quinette Cook

    What a critique group!

  • http://sevenacresky.wordpress.com Damon Dean

    I am rooting for both of you. Like being at an Auburn/Arkansas game. Cant wait for the tip off!

  • Carrie Finison

    Very nice, Penny! I love the 3 rhymes in the beginning and the acquiesce/GPS rhyme at the end is hilarious.

  • http://www.buffysilverman.com Buffy Silverman

    Okay, this was the hardest match to decide for me. Love them both!

  • Carrie Finison

    Thanks, Buffy! I haven’t made it over to yours yet, but will soon. Unfortunately this is a busy day for me but I’d MUCH rather be reading all these wonderful poems!

  • http://www.NoWaterRiver.com Renee LaTulippe (@ReneeMLaTulippe)

    NOT POSSIBLE! CANNOT VOTE! DOES NOT COMPUTE! Urg. Penny and Carrie, you killed it! I love that Carrie has “it’s written on her face” and Penny has “it’s written in his stars” – so weird how that happens. I have to go away and come back. Don’t know what to do!

  • http://www.alisonhertz.com Alison Hertz

    Wow – tough match. Both poems are excellent. Well done, ladies!

  • http://www.authoramok.com Laura Shovan

    I’m going to have to vote for one poem from my laptop and the other from my phone. These are just too good.

  • http://www.animalhero.com Dave Crawley

    Two great entries! Tough choice…

  • http://www.pennyklostermann.com Penny Klostermann

    I’m glad I’m not voting…ha! Carrie, I love yours! I do wish we weren’t against each other right off the bat! Gee!

  • http://www.lizsteinglass.com/ Liz

    I want TWO votes–at least! How can we possibly choose?

  • Ann Magee

    This was a difficult choice for me also. Two tight, well-written poems that I loved reading! Great job, ladies!

  • http://www.quinettecook.com Quinette Cook

    Nice job. Glad I don’t have to show up at your critique group after this match-up.

  • http://jlielarios.blogspot.com Julie Larios

    Very hard choice!! You both pulled it off beautufully.

  • http://readingyear.blogspot.com Mary Lee

    Poor girlfriend! Poor armadillo!

  • http://www.poemfarm.amylv.com Amy Ludwig VanDerwater

    Oooh, I enjoyed these. Evil wrapped as fun. Kudos to both poets!

  • http://sevenacresky.wordpress.com Damon Dean

    This is so hard.
    Excellent, both of them.

    And to add to that distress…I can’t get over feeling so sorry for the armadillo’s girlfriend.

  • http://catherinemjohnson.wordpress.com Catherine Johnson

    I was dreading having to pick between you too. Hugely entertaining both of them. I think the girlfriend should console herself with a new pet Armadillo. Well done!

  • Carrie Finison

    Ooh, a poetic mash-up. I love it! And there’s nothing a recently-dumped 8th grader needs more than an armadillo.

  • http://www.robynhoodblack.com Robyn Hood Black

    These are SO good! Hats off to you both. Penny, your meter is wonderful and “He’d quick-glance left. He’d quick-glance right” is kinda brilliant….

  • http://deborahholtwilliams.blogspot.com Deborah Holt Williams

    Oh these are both just so good, and I love the idea of a mash-up, where an unfaithful boyfriend meets a passing car…

  • Pauline Sparks

    Don’t know who!
    What’ll I do?
    This is way too hard!
    Who’ll be ‘Bard’?

  • http://www.jennifercolejudd.com Jen

    Oh girls, so not fair you two are going the rounds–brilliant poems!! I love the texting lingo and the fuchsia lipstick, Carrie! And Penny, how often I come upon an armadillo who, alas, neglected to consult his GPS–laughed out loud! Great poems, ladies!

  • http://www.laurasalas.com laurasalas

    Wow, this might be the hardest choice yet. I absolutely adore both these poems.

  • Lori Modzierz

    Carrie, great use of text lingo!

    Penny, an armadillo sporting a GPS unit . . . clever and funny!

  • Janet F.

    What Catherine said! I really love these oh so clever poems!! Texting, GPS, we are in the modern age of poetry!!

  • http://www.animalhero.com Dave Crawley

    Two great poems…down to the wire!

  • bill

    The horses are neck and neck.

  • http://www.pennyklostermann.com Penny Klostermann

    Giddy up horse!

  • Carrie Finison

    Yee-haw!

  • http://www.thinkkidthink.com Ed DeCaria

    These are both fantastic. I admit I voted for Carrie (!) because she so perfectly captured that spying, lying school age spirit in its natural form. I felt like her character was talking to ME!

    Penny, of course, is more than deserving of a Round 2 spot for her very witty and well-metered poem.

    Well done, both of you.

    Carrie, don’t disappear on us!

  • Hannah Ruth Wilde

    LOVE both!

  • Carrie Finison

    Thanks so much, Ed! This was SO much fun and I will be cheering Penny and the other authletes from the sidelines…and crafting my training regimen for next year.

    Penny, congratulations on the win. I can’t wait to see what you do in round 2. Good luck!

  • Dad

    Great poems. This contest is a fabulous concept. Hope to see many more from you Carrie.

  • http://sevenacresky.wordpress.com Damon Dean

    Congratulations Penny! Wonderful poem, and Carrie, I loved yours. I voted for Carrie’s, but it was a really tough choice. Penny, I’ll be cheering you on too, girl! Can’t wait to see your next match up.

  • http://www.dianamurray.com DianaM

    Congratulations, Penny! And Carrie, yours had such a terrific voice! I loved both of these. It’s no wonder it was such a close one.

  • http://www.pennyklostermann.com Penny Klostermann

    I enjoyed the matchup! Carrie, your poem is excellent. Thanks to everyone who voted for each of us!

  • Carrie Finison

    Thanks for the kind words, everyone. I’m having fun watching from the sidelines. I posted my alternate poem for ‘parse’ on my blog today. Enjoy! http://storypatch.wordpress.com/2013/03/18/march-madness-thoughts-and-a-poem/