ROUND ONE: 8-consort vs. 9-killjoy

r1f1 8-consort vs 9-killjoy

Click here for authlete instructions.

Voter Instructions:

  • The countdown at the bottom of each pairing indicates how much time is left to vote.
    • When voting closes, timer will disappear.
  • Read both poems as many times as you like.
  • Mark the poem you like best by clicking the circle next to its name.
  • Press the “Vote” button to record your vote.
  • Votes are counted in real time and cannot be changed once entered.
  • You can only vote once from a given IP address.
    • Classrooms should submit one vote as a class.
    • Students can then vote again individually from home.

Things to Consider in Making a Choice:

  • How well the poem incorporates the authlete’s assigned word.
  • Technical elements: meter, rhyme, form, shape, and other poetic standards.
  • Creativity: wordplay, imagery, unusual approach, etc.
  • Subtle elements that make the whole greater than the sum of its parts.
  • Your overall response: emotional reaction such as admiration, tears, laughter, terror, or some indefinable feeling.

Here are the poems:

But Me No Butts
by Robert Schechter

It makes me groan to sit on stone.
Unless there is a cushion
that’s plumped up there upon the chair
I will not put my toosh in.

I’m on my guard when seats are hard.
I don’t mean to sound whiney,
so I’ll be short: I won’t consort
with chairs that hurt my heinie.


Sibling Discontent-ion
by Damon Dean

My sister plays Monopoly but doesn’t try to win.
In Battleship I sink her ship and all she does is grin.
She likes Go Fish but doesn’t wish to get a single pair.
And when I win she claps and happy-dances everywhere.

She’s tickled pink to play whichever game that I might choose.
But winning would feel better if she didn’t like to lose.
It’s aggravating, at the least. What games can I enjoy?
My jovial opponent is a 3-year-old killjoy!


Public Vote
Final Results:
8-consort vs. 9-killjoy

Authlete Vote (ID Required)
Final Results:
8-consort vs. 9-killjoy
Classroom Vote (ID Required)
Final Results:
8-consort vs. 9-killjoy

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  • Joe Mohr

    2 terrific poems!!!

  • Linda Baie

    Both hit the topic beautifully, and both made me laugh-wonderful!

  • Quinette Cook

    These words were pretty evenly matched. Body humor vs. sibling (un)rivalry. Tough choice.

  • Carrie Finison

    These are both really good! I love Bob’s cushion/toosh in rhyme, and Damon, great punchline. This was a tough choice.

  • Margo

    Both wonderful! Hard to choose.

  • pennyklostermann

    This is a super tough match-up! Very hard to chose.

  • Dave Crawley

    Tight race, as it should be. Tough choice…

  • Debbie B. LaCroix

    Thanks for the laugh!

  • Vikram Madan

    Oh boy, what a tough, tough choice! … Both poems are fantastic…

  • Gloson

    Now I don’t know which one to vote. :

  • Renee LaTulippe

    HAHAHA! Too funny, guys! You both made me laugh, so this will be a tough one. Those toosh rhymes are fun fun fun, and that three-your-old killjoy is adorable. What to do??

  • Debra Shumaker

    What fun! Thanks for such great poems.

  • Damon Dean

    Great one Robert! I love those last two lines, and my heinie agrees!

  • Mother Streusel

    Excellent poetry, gentlemen!!!! Can’t wait to see who the winner is! They are both SO good!

  • Diana Murray

    Two excellent poems! What a tough choice.

  • Rebecca Colby

    Great, humorous poems! Loved them both!

  • Buffy Silverman

    Loved that happy, frustrating 3-year old, Damon–And your cushion/toosh in rhyme is inspired, Bob.

  • Catherine

    Two beauties!

  • rjschechter

    Thanks, everyone. I love Damon’s poem. For some reason, I’m particularly charmed by the phrase “jovial opponent.” Hey, that describes most of us here!

    • Damon Dean

      Thanks Robert, jovial just came out of the sky. And yes, that’s the word for the fun in this competition. Great poem Robert. I loved your featured poem translations, by the way, on String Poet as well. (Google it folks, a great site that marries music to poetry.)

  • Kathy Ellen Davis

    tooshes vs. games and siblings…great kid friendly subject matter!

  • Damon Dean

    Thanks all, great fun!

  • Mother Streusel

    So close!!! And reasonably so, both being so great. Congratulations Damon!!!

  • rjschechter

    Damon, I hate to be a killjoy, but congratulations on your victory!