ROUND FOUR: 8-torments vs. 11-idealized

mmpoetry-2015-rd4-logic-8-torments-vs-11-idealized



Click here for authlete instructions.

Voter Instructions:

  • The countdown at the bottom of each pairing indicates how much time is left to vote.
    • When voting closes, timer will disappear.
  • Read both poems as many times as you’d like.
  • Mark the poem you like best by clicking the circle next to its name.
  • Press the “Vote” button to record your vote.
  • Votes are counted in real time and cannot be changed once entered.
  • In the Public Vote, anyone may vote, but only one vote is allowed per IP address.
  • In the Classroom Vote, you must be registered and logged in to vote.
    • Official voting classrooms should read and discuss each poem and then submit one vote as a class.
    • Students can then vote again individually from home.
  • In the Authlete Vote, you must be a 2015 authlete and logged in to vote.

Things to Consider in Making a Choice:

  • How well the poem incorporates the authlete’s assigned word, given its level of difficulty.
  • Whether or not the poem adheres to the poem requirements for the contest.
  • Precision: structure, meter, rhyme, syntax, etc.
  • Personality: creative imagery, language, metaphor, etc.
  • Power: makes you laugh, cry, want, sigh, think, dream, wince, scream, etc.
  • Plus One: it is a poem you feel drawn to share with another person for whatever reason.

Apply your own criteria as well! For more on the above concepts, check out POEMETRICS™.


Here are the poems:

age-suggestion-all-ages


8-torments what does it mean?
Ben and Bruce: A Play Almost a Play in One in Almost One Act
By Rebekah Hoeft

Oh, listen, my children to what happened when
This teller of tales was a child of but ten
(Four months and three days ago if I’m exact);
Below are the lines if you’d care to enact.

First enters our hero – that’s me – I’m named Ben,
Just swingin’ and mindin’ my business but then
Next enters the villain called Bruce the Big Brute
Who torments the hero for whom you will root.

Ben (cheerfully):
Bruce (menacingly):
Ben (boldly):
Bruce (cracks knuckles):
Good mornin’ to you, Bruce, oh how do you do?
Ben, gimme that ball and I want your mitt too.
That just will not happen, Bruce, uh-uh, no way.
Well, Ben, I’ll just wait; you can’t swing there all day.

So bravely I jumped with my ninja-like skill
Had almost escaped ‘til I tripped, took a spill.
We scrabbled and grabbed for the ball. Tell me, friend:
Just how do you think that this story will end?

vs.

age-suggestion-all-ages


11-idealized what does it mean?
THE SWAMP IS ALWAYS GREENER: a poem for two bullfrogs
(Poems for two voices are read across the page by two readers.)
By Renée M. LaTulippe

EARL
Hey, Burrrrrl.
I’ve been ponderin’…
The fireflies are brighter…
and the moon seems whiter
in the swamp ‘cross town.
But their mice are supersize!
You think?
Guess I never realized…
life in other swamps.
I s’pose you’re right.
But if I might…

Aw! You care that I exist?
You know, you’re not a bad bloke.
Yup. Night, Burrrrrl.
BURL
Hey, Earrrrrl.
Mind’s been wanderin’?
Here we go again.
You’ve always had this yen…
Earl, you’re bringin’ me down.
Bah! Sticky-tongued lies…

You always have idealized…
It’s not all romps and chomps.
I’m always right.
Now just sit tight
and listen—you’d be missed.
Oh, pipe down, you slimy toad.
Friends until we croak?
Night, Earrrrrl.

 


Public Vote (8-torments vs. 11-idealized)
Final Results:
8-torments vs. 11-idealized

Authlete Vote (ID Required)
Final Results:
8-torments vs. 11-idealized
Classroom Vote (ID Required)
Final Results:
8-torments vs. 11-idealized




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  • Rebekah Hoeft

    And the strangeness that is March Madness continues. ..Two poems meant to be read aloud by two speakers? ! I know Ed did not tell me YOU were going to do a play of sorts, and I am sure he did not tell you, Renee, that I was writing a little play! So crazy!
    Nicely done! Love the frogs!

    • http://www.debrashumaker.com/ Debra Shumaker

      That IS strange! Very original poems, both of you, I enjoyed both of them, now I have to choose one. . .

      • Rebekah Hoeft

        Thank you! I’m letting my daughter use our computer to vote in the public vote tonight–I’m interested to see what she chooses as well (and a little worried!).

  • http://www.thinkkidthink.com/ Ed DeCaria

    Yours came in first, Bekah, and when I saw Renee’s I just started laughing. I believe this is the first time anyone has ever done a two voices poem (I could be wrong about that), so for two to come in in the same matchup is just silly …

    • Rebekah Hoeft

      (:
      Not gonna lie: I groaned when I first saw Renée’s, but I did laugh (and am still smiling!) after the initial shock!

      • Renee LaTulippe

        BTW, how do you get that accent on my E in the comments? My keyboard command doesn’t work on the Internets…

        • Rebekah Hoeft

          Can do it on my phone and tablet, but not sure on my computer keyboard. I’m sure there’s a way. I’m sure you could copy from a document and just paste it every time, but there’s got to be an easier way!

        • http://closejj.wix.com/meretricktheworm Josh Close

          Hold down alt and type 0233 on the number pad – é

          • Renee LaTulippe

            I’m on a Mac with no number pad… I get this: º™££ with the option key. :D I should be like Prince and just have a symbol.

            • http://closejj.wix.com/meretricktheworm Josh Close

              To get accents on the Mac, hold down the Option key, and while holding it down, type the letter e; then release those keys and type the letter that you want the accent to appear on: á = Opt + e, then a. é = Opt + e, then e. í = Opt + e, then i.

            • Renee LaTulippe

              Huzzah! I have been accented! Renée is off to make some canapés. I hope this round doesn’t turn into a melée while I’m gone. THANKS, Josh! :D

  • Randi

    Both so very clever and different from what we have seen so far! Earl and Burl – too cute, Renee! and Rebekah, I love the presentation! I would never have thought to do that!

    • Rebekah Hoeft

      Thanks, Randi! I’m happy Renee is my partner in this!

  • Renee LaTulippe

    NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA! This is so bizarre! How is it even possible! Ed, I am pretty sure these are the first poems for two voices. Rebekah, were you feeling as pleased with yourself as I was? HA! Too funny! Well done with your play! :)

    • Rebekah Hoeft

      Heehee…laughed just now (okay, and snorted a bit) reading your comment, Renee! I truly did think that I was being very original–I even told Ed that I wasn’t sure how it would go over, but that I’d chance it anyway because I was *sort of* breaking out of my usual poetry mode.

      More and more convinced that there really is NOTHING new under the sun. (:

      I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty pleased that this is the way it’s turned out!

      • Renee LaTulippe

        Me too, Rebekah! I just couldn’t bring myself to do couplets or same-old stanzas — but the real reason is that I did not know what to do with my word. The bullfrogs just appeared, and then they wanted to chat, so I let ‘em. :D

  • RJ Clarken

    Amazing! Not only drama – but pure theatre! Brava!!!

    • Rebekah Hoeft

      (: Thanks, RJ!

  • http://laughalotpoetry.com/HOME.html Darren Sardelli

    I think both of you should act these poems out and put them on Youtube. They are both winners. Still pondering my decision.

    • Rebekah Hoeft

      (: Great idea!
      Or maybe some kids from the voting classrooms should act them out–though they’d have to figure out what the rest of the story is in mine!

    • Renee LaTulippe

      Well, as you may know from my poetry video blog, I’m all about performing poetry. There’s no doubt this will show up there one day. :D

    • RJ Clarken

      What a cool idea!

  • http://closejj.wix.com/meretricktheworm Josh Close

    Yet another strange occurrence, lol. It seems fated that these 2 were matched together!

    Rebekah, such a good idea leaving the readers to fill in the story at the end! So much room for imagination!

    And Renee – you’ve managed to make me read a poem in two different voices, lol. Well done.

    • Renee LaTulippe

      Thanks, Josh! I’ve been channeling Earl and Burl voices for about 30 hours. My kids are starting to look at me funny.

    • Rebekah Hoeft

      Thanks, Josh! I’m hoping that kids do a little poetry writing themselves and finish what I started! (:

  • Colleen Murphy

    The complexity of what the two of you have managed to communicate in a mere sixteen lines is impressive! Well done and good luck!

    • Rebekah Hoeft

      Thanks, Colleen!

    • Renee LaTulippe

      Grazie, Colleen!

  • Buffy Silverman

    Great minds think alike–and apparently Rebekah and Renee have great minds. Love your narrator-as-playwright poem, Rebekah. And Renee, your two frogs are charming with perfect froggy dialect (and you so subtly slip in your swamp is always greener message.) Better keep your frogs away from my snake, though.

    • Renee LaTulippe

      These are bullfrogs. They can take a snake…

    • Rebekah Hoeft

      Wow, Buffy-yet another March Madness crazy coincidence! Thanks for your kind words!

  • deborahhwilliams

    Earl and Burl and Ben and Bruce–both brilliant!

    • Rebekah Hoeft

      Thanks, Deborah!

  • Barbi Hardoin

    OK, Bekah, here goes:

    Bruce grabbed for my mitt as I lay on the ground.
    A hand reached to me then a wonderful sound,
    “Back off!” said my sister, who’s twice Bruce’s size.
    Now Bruce slunk away, real fear in his eyes.

    • Rebekah Hoeft

      Love it, Barbi! I love that he slinks away when confronted with someone he thinks is intimidating, as most bullies do. I had not thought of taking the ending in that direction! Thanks for posting it!

  • Dave Crawley

    Wow! Two poems, each spoken by two voices. Both very original and clever. Would be great to act out in a classroom.

    • Rebekah Hoeft

      Thanks, Dave! I hope students do that!

  • Samuel Kent

    These two give me so many ideas. Great job, Renee and Rebekah!

    • Rebekah Hoeft

      Thanks, Sam!

  • Jamie Slear-DC Elementary

    My 4th grade students did choral readings of the poems in two voices and loved them both! We had a very close vote.Thanks for the fun poems:)

    • http://www.thinkkidthink.com/ Ed DeCaria

      Thanks for commenting, Jamie! And thanks for reading and considering each poem, kids! See, authletes? Just because a classroom as a whole votes for one poem or another, that doesn’t mean it isn’t still close!

      • Rebekah Hoeft

        Thanks, Jamie! I love hearing about kids reading poetry and LOVING it! You made my night!

    • Renee LaTulippe

      Jamie, that’s so great to know! Thanks to you and your students for reading (and having fun with) both our poems. :)

  • http://www.thinkkidthink.com/ Ed DeCaria

    If everyone other than Rebekah and Renee could all refrain from hitting refresh a thousand times, that would do wonders for my relationship with my web host’s abuse department. <3

    • Rebekah Hoeft

      This made me laugh, especially since I have been doing my best to ignore the countdown!

      • http://www.thinkkidthink.com/ Ed DeCaria

        Yeah, can’t wait to see the server logs tomorrow. This voting plug-in is NOT optimized for the way we’re using it here. Really causing massive server loads, which is not cool for other sites sharing the server.

      • RJ Clarken

        That is so funny!

  • http://www.thinkkidthink.com/ Ed DeCaria

    Wowie. That was a fun one. As soon as you both pick yourselves up off the floor, please hug your kids and thank them on my behalf for letting you be awesome for the rest of us for the last two weeks. Bekah — what a run! Fantastic work each and every round. And wow, Renee … congrats on making the Final Four AGAIN after your year off. You’re pretty good at this poetry thing, huh? See you in Round FIVE! I don’t have the records in front of me, but I think possibly you have already tied or if you win next round you will have tied Mr. Kent for the most #MMPoetry wins in tournament history!

    • Rebekah Hoeft

      Congratulations, Renee! Your frogs are forever stUK in my head, and I would imagine, quite a few kids’ heads as well! I love that you can write beautiful and humorous and traditional and original poetry! Thanks for a fun couple of days!

      Ed… can not say enough good things about your work here. Thank you.

      • Renee LaTulippe

        Thank you, Rebekah! And congratulations to you, too, for all your work in the competition. Isn’t it cool that the students did choral readings of our poems? Win!

    • Renee LaTulippe

      It’s 3am, but I guess my body is wired to the countdown machine or something, because I woke up just now and opened the computer, haha! Wow, this was unexpected. I’m excited to write another poem, but NOT excited to be going against the fabulous Buffy Silverman, fellow member of Poets’ Garage. :) Thanks so much, Ed!

  • Janet F.

    As others have noted, I was amazed to see the poems in two voices competing. How to choose? I can see that I was not alone. Congratulations, Renee. can’t wait to see what you dish up next. As someone who promotes poetry performance and recitation as you know, I can’t wait to share these with my students. Gems! These show kids the variety that poetry can be. I love it. Rebekah, can’t wait to get to read more of your poetry! It is also fabulous to show kids what can be done in a short time….under pressure we can create more than we realize. (Especially when we are gifted poets/writers like you two!) Color me happy and impressed.

    • Rebekah Hoeft

      Thank you for the kind words, Janet! It *is* fabulous to see what can be done in such a short time. I am so inspired and honored to be surrounded by these professional and encouraging poets! I hope your students are as well!
      Will you let us know how the readings go?!

  • Dave Crawley

    Split decision. Whew! Congrats to both! You’ve both written new poems you would not have written otherwise…