ROUND FIVE: *milksop vs. *balderdash

mmpoetry-2015-rd5-milksop-vs-balderdash


Each authlete was assigned a word and given 36 hours to compose a poem.

Below are their entries. Read both and vote for your favorite!

Click here for authlete instructions. Click here for voter instructions.


Here are the poems:

age-suggestion-all-ages


*milksop what does it mean?
Mistress of Mean, Penelope Green
By Randi Sonenshine

Penelope Green was so sneaky and mean,
she ran my new book through her washing machine.
When she gave it back with a cold-hearted yawn,
the pages were stuck and the cover was gone!

On Monday, she told me my breath was grotesque
and glued all my notes to the top of my desk,
then sprinkled my backpack with stinky perfume
and tooted my tuba all over the room!

On Tuesday, in art, she put paint in my hair
then tied both my shoes to the legs of my chair.
Then Wednesday she shot me a menacing look
and ripped out a page from my history book!

On Thursday, she mangled my homework for math
then told me I smelled like I needed a bath.
She set loose the hamster but gave me the blame;
the teacher believed her preposterous claim!

This morning she cornered me after P.E.
and pointed her long, scrawny finger at me.
She called me a milksop, a weakling, a wimp
then said I resembled the rump of a chimp!

But when I got angry and started to speak,
that crazy girl planted a kiss on my cheek!
She gave me a wink and then left with a twirl…
I swear – someday I’m gonna marry that girl!

vs.

age-suggestion-all-ages


*balderdash what does it mean?
“GUESS I’M GONNA NEED A BIGGER HOUSE”
By Tiffany Strelitz Haber

Don’t try to act all innocent. You aren’t that naive.
I know that your intention was to cleverly deceive.

You claim that you came clean to me before I shook your hand.
You say you showed me photos to ensure I’d understand.

That’s total hooey. Balderdash! The deal was clear as muck.
A shrewd attempt to trick me quickly. Stick me- now I’m stuck.

I should have caught on sooner, yeah you’re cunning- I confess.
You asked me if I liked desserts. Of course, I answered, “YES”.

The deal: A thousand pounds of mousse. And here’s the greatest news…
The price was only 20 bucks. Well how could I refuse?

“A thousand pounds of mousse,” you said.
I SO misunderstood.
I thought, “A feast!”
You meant, “The beast.”

You really got me good.

 


Public Vote (*milksop vs. *balderdash)
Final Results:
*milksop vs. *balderdash

Authlete Vote (ID Required)
Final Results:
*milksop vs. *balderdash
Classroom Vote (ID Required)
Final Results:
*milksop vs. *balderdash






Voter Instructions:

  • The countdown at the bottom of each pairing indicates how much time is left to vote.
    • When voting closes, timer will disappear.
  • Read both poems as many times as you’d like.
  • Mark the poem you like best by clicking the circle next to its name.
  • Press the “Vote” button to record your vote.
  • Votes are counted in real time and cannot be changed once entered.
  • In the Public Vote, anyone may vote, but only one vote is allowed per IP address.
  • In the Classroom Vote, you must be registered and logged in to vote.
    • Official voting classrooms should read and discuss each poem and then submit one vote as a class.
    • Students can then vote again individually from home.
  • In the Authlete Vote, you must be a 2015 authlete and logged in to vote.

Things to Consider in Making a Choice:

  • How well the poem incorporates the authlete’s assigned word, given its level of difficulty.
  • Whether or not the poem adheres to the poem requirements for the contest.
  • Precision: structure, meter, rhyme, syntax, etc.
  • Personality: creative imagery, language, metaphor, etc.
  • Power: makes you laugh, cry, want, sigh, think, dream, wince, scream, etc.
  • Plus One: it is a poem you feel drawn to share with another person for whatever reason.

Apply your own criteria as well! For more on the above concepts, check out POEMETRICS™.

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  • Michelle Heidenrich Barnes

    Both of these poems are a delight to read, with super sock-it-to-ya funny punchlines! Good on both of you for doing such a great job.

    • Randi Sonenshine

      Thanks, Michelle!

  • Randi Sonenshine

    Tiffany, this is so cute and clever! Love the line that begins, “A shrewd attempt…” Your meter and rhyme rock!

  • Renee LaTulippe

    Well done to both of you! You both obviously wore your sequined Clever Hats this round. :)

    • Randi

      Thank you, Renee. Your poem is crabtabulous!

  • Buffy Silverman

    Very clever, indeed–so much fun to read both of your rollicking poems aloud. Loved that moose ending, and your perfect depiction of balderdash, Tiffany! And of course your narrator fell for Penelope, Randi!

    • Randi

      Yes, Buffy, it was inevitable, wasn’t it? ;)

  • Matt Forrest

    Well done, ladies…another tight race!

    • Randi

      Thanks, Matt!

  • Ryan

    Great punchlines to both. This vote is gonna hurt… :-)

    • Randi

      Thanks, Ryan!

  • Jpacic

    My fifth grade class let out a collective gasp when I read the last stanza of Penelope Green aloud (the class was reading along on our SMART board). They were thoroughly surprised and delighted by the kiss and the marriage twist! They also liked how the lines moved in measure through the days
    of the week, and appreciated the straightforward yet delightful rhyme scheme. Wonderful poem!
    We have absolutely fallen in love with this tournament! Thank you Ed and all of the Authletes!

    • Randi

      Jpacic, thanks so much for sharing that! It’s precisely why I am participating in this event and why I do what I do! Please tell your fifth graders how thrilled I am that they liked “Penelope Green,” and if they would like to Skype sometime, let me know! Also, thank YOU for taking the time to get involved with the tournament and sharing the joys of poetry with your students!

  • Samuel Kent

    Wow. Just wow to both of you. Great job!

    • Randi

      Thanks! :)

  • Joanne Sher

    These are both AMAZING! BUT I WILL vote – somehow.

    • Randi

      Thanks, Joanne!

  • RJ Clarken

    I loved both poems (and yes, I voted!) but boy was it hard to decide! Both of you did a great job!

    • Randi

      Thanks, RJ!

  • Janie Hogan-Summers Lazo

    Randi- thanks for your playful reminder of puppy love. You took me straight back to 6th grade!

    Tiffany- what fun! Always read the fine print.

    • Randi

      Thanks, Janie! My son is in fifth grade, and it’s so funny to listen to him and his friends when they talk about girls; it’s very much a love-hate thing at that age!

  • Janie Hogan-Summers Lazo

    Congratulations Randi! I can’t wait to read the poems from the next round!

    • Randi

      Thanks, Janie! I will do my very best!

  • http://www.thinkkidthink.com/ Ed DeCaria

    Tiffany — congrats on another great showing in #MMPoetry! I believe you had swept four straight matches leading up to this point, and delivered another potential winner in Round Five, but I’m not sure that many poems could have beaten “Mistress of Mean, Penelope Green” in this contest. Randi — congratulations on making The Finals in your first year as an authlete! Amazing work yet again!

    • RJ Clarken

      Yay! Terrific poeming! And now, I can’t wait to see what happens in the Finale!

      • Randi

        :)

    • Randi

      Wow. Just wow!I was thrilled to make it past the first two rounds, but now I am really pinching myself! I have developed a tremendous respect for Ed, this incredible event, and the talented authletes who have poured their creative souls onto these pages, and I hope to make you all proud in the Finals, no matter the outcome.

      • http://www.thinkkidthink.com/ Ed DeCaria

        … “no matter the outcome”

        That’s the spirit! Good luck, Randi!

        • Randi

          :) Thank you, Ed.

  • lillpluta

    Aw, Tiffany, I loved the moose/mousse poem. :) Congratulations, Randi!

    • Randi

      I loved Tiffany’s Chocolate Moose poem, too! I have been paired with such kick-butt competitors!

  • Renee LaTulippe

    Congratulations, Randi! Can’t wait to see what you do next!

    • Randi

      Thanks, Renee. It is a compliment to you and your stellar The Lyrical Language Lab that I have made it this far. You have been so generous with your time and talent ever since we met, and I will continue to pester you…

  • BJ Lee

    Congratulations, Randi! And it’s on to the Finals! It’s very exciting!

    • Randi

      Thanks, BJ!

  • Buffy Silverman

    Congratulations, Randi! Can’t wait to read your next poem!

    • Randi

      Back atcha, Buffy! Your “Turtle Moon” gave me chills (in a good way)!

  • Michelle Heidenrich Barnes

    Goodonya Randi! Can’t wait to read your final poem. :)

    • Randi

      Thanks, Michelle!

  • Dave Crawley

    Are these two poets milksops? Balderdash! Great job, both of you!

    • Randi

      Hee hee! :)

  • http://closejj.wix.com/meretricktheworm Josh Close

    Love the twist ending to your poem randi! Your poem is actually kind of similar to my final round poem last year with the day by day idea – awesome!

    Tiffany, funny and well-written as usual! Too bad both poets can’t advance!